July 11, 2015

Please Wash Your Nasty Hands

Bottom line... I'm pissed! I'm fed up with nasty, inconsiderate adults who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. YES I said it! Okay, let me slow down, reverse this thing, and tell you how it all went down.

My daughters and I were engaging in our (un)favorite activity: grocery shopping. In typical mom-grocery-shopping-alone-with-kids-and-a-cart-full-of-everything fashion, my oldest secretly informed me that she had to "do number one AND two." She usually blurts out my preferred "pee and poop." I don't like the whole number thing because it just sounds like a value meal gone wrong! On this day, however, she felt fancy being in public I guess. Whatever that means!

So I dragged the two-ton cart, my girls, my selfish attitude, and the remaining nerves this inconvenience wasn't stomping on, to the store's restroom. The very public restroom. I've never understood why they are called "restrooms." No person in the history of my life has felt compelled or comfortable enough to rest in such a piss-soaked environment. And let me tell ya... women (just like men) can be gross! I'm talking block the entrance with yellow crime tape and stamp a permanent WTF? on the door...gross!

Like most parents, I have a fear-almost a phobia-when it comes to taking my kids to public squatters. I used that term here because that's what I do... SQUAT! When it comes to my girls, I'd rather change a mountain of soiled clothing than have them venture into the hell cells that bathroom stalls are. And to make it even more hellacious, I'm one of those ridiculously cautious parents. By the time I've unfolded the tarp stuffed in my purse for such occasions, wrapped and duct-taped it to the toilet, cut out a drop hole, and reiterated my DON'T TOUCH A MUTHALUVIN THING rule 20 times, my child is probably close to a bladder infection! Not really but....really.

This mama does not get down with other people's heebee jeebees being close to her girl's petunias. FEEL ME?! Now someone pass me a peppermint before I puke!

Getting back to the story... my oldest was doing her business when another woman walked in. The woman entered her stall, locked her door, dribbled, dribbled, dribbled,  and flushed. Being the bathroom hand washing warden that I am, I awaited those two precious sounds after she exited her stall: 1) the flow of clean water from the faucet 2) the click of the good 'ole soap dispenser.


Then the bathroom door opened and shut! I. almost. fainted. If it wasn't for the wet film of disgusting on the floor and the possibility of my catching EVERYTHANG from making contact with it, I would've lost consciousness and fell to the floor!

Too many times this has happened to us. Too many times, a grown woman has "peed or pooped", wiped her tainted underdog, and walked OUT of the bathroom with her hands forever scarlet-lettered! I've worked hard to teach my daughters good hygiene. I stress the importance of hand washing and not spreading germs. I even go as far as to tell them how "adults" do it, yadda, yadda, yadda, PSHFT!!!

The first thing my daughter said after the woman made her exit was " Ooooh mommy! That lady didn't wash her hands!" It's a shame how many times she's had to say this with a disgusted look on her face but at least she's kind enough to whisper it. I, on the other hand, am livid every time and want to shout such nastiness over the store's intercom and the mountain tops! Had I seen that woman's face and ran into her in the store, I maaaay have confronted her but I'm not sure if being touched by those filthy hands would have been worth it! She deserved a good throat punch or a Tyson-on-Holyfield ear bite for that one.

Yes, it's that deep for me folks! Nasty kids are bad enough but nasty adults are another horror entirely. Have you read any studies of bacteria found in bathrooms? If not, look it up. Forewarned is forearmed!

In that moment, I also wanted to assure my child that no "lady" would've walked out with those filthy hands but I didn't. Instead, I created a teaching moment and made an example of her. We reviewed good hygiene practices. We discussed the importance of using paper towels, or toilet paper to open the bathroom door after hand washing, etc,. I made sure to reiterate the germs people are exposed to when hygiene rules/practices aren't followed. In other words, my daughters are scarred for life!

In the same token, you'll never have to question whether or not MY girl's hands are clean after "peeing or pooping." Mama has taught them well. Maybe a little too well.

I know someone will call me a germaphobe. Someone else may even argue that I'm making my girls paranoid, etc, Call it whatever your fanny wants! Not gonna change a thing because we have our way and you have yours. There's NO excuse for what that woman did (or any other). There were no sirens alerting us of an emergency and a need to exit the bathroom immediately. She was just too lazy to follow those two simple steps and other people had to pay the price. 

Like I said, NO EXCUSE!

Wash your nasty hands people! It doesn't take that damn long. And be warned... if we find ourselves in a bathroom together and you attempt to exit with unwashed hands, I'M CALLING YOU OUT.

Do you have any public bathroom stories to share? Any public nastiness you'd like to report. If so, by all means share in the comments. As always, thanks for being here! Don't forget to click on the lady below to keep me as a Top Mommy Blogger. A simple click on her counts as your vote. I appreciate your time and support! 

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