October 5, 2014

Keeping Up With The Bloggesses

As a blogger, I've found myself confronted with three options:

1. Stay true to my voice 
2. Conform
3. Give up

The Bloggesses, like The Joneses, have it "going on" in all things blog related. They have huge followings and massive page views. They are doing enough guest-posts to make Oprah take notice. And money??? Don't even mention that! The Bloggesses are paid out the rectal cavity to write and live their dreams! It's enough to make any blogger question their own value.


Do you know any of the Bloggesses? If so, then you know what I'm talking about. And you'll know what I'm talking about by that little nudge of envy that pokes it's head out like a turtle in a shell. Did you feel that? Yeah. That.

While every blogger loves his/her little corner of the blogosphere, there's always the desire for more subscribers, page views, content, and opportunities to be PAID! Right?! I don't think I'm wrong here. I know I'm not. And I know because I'm one of those bloggers. The envious, turtle-headed kind!

Let's not take the word "envy" out of context. I have no ill-will towards those writing and marketing geniuses. As a matter of fact, it's just the opposite! I admire those wonderful Bloggesses with their captivating words, their business savvy, and their will to persevere! My blog wants to be like theirs when it grows up! 

I know, firsthand, that this blogging thing ain't easy, peasy stuff! There's a misconception that bloggers only sit on an ass and write/type but that's not where it ends! If people only knew the process involved in finding time to create good content, entertain people, maintain a visually captivating blog, fight the urge to conform, manage home life, and still have a personal identity. Sheesh! I need a drink just thinking about it!

Moscato anyone???

It reminds me of the misconceptions people have towards stay-at-home-parents. No work involved?! Are ya kidding me or are ya just plain stupid?! There's work involved I tell ya. PLENTY of work! And then there's work, on top of work's work. And did I mention no time off?! You can see I have very strong feelings about this topic!

Back to the Bloggesses... While they are wonderful, I'm the stubborn type. I'm confronted with those three options  daily but I refuse to conform or give up! I believe in my voice, my audience, my style. I also know that none of our lives are the same. We can't expect to be like someone else. It's fantastic to see writers receiving recognition, achieving great levels of success, but the reality is that all of us won't reach super-stardom. I'm sorry to burst that bubble but it's just the damn truth.


Does that mean YOU won't be successful? Well that depends on the individual. Giving up is inevitable failure but persevering through the challenges, through writer's block, through "I don't know how to do that," will lead us all to success! We can all live in our individual realms of achievement. We set our own goals, define our own success, and determine where we want to go! I have faced MANY brick walls with blogging because I'm not the most tech savvy person. Okay, okay. That was an understatement. I may have needed a dummies guide when I started. There... Are ya happy now?! But let me let you in on a little secret...

GOOGLE WILL SAVE YOUR ASS! 

There are tutorials on E-VE-RY-THING! Stalk Youtube and other platforms like a virgin who just got her first piece of good weiner sex! WHAT?! Don't look at me like that! You know EXACTLY what I mean! 

Success takes time, patience, and the will to not give up. If you want to reach your goal you must get your butt in gear! One more thing... Drop the "I can't" excuses! Ain't nobody got time for that! You CAN do the things you think are impossible. I know because I AM doing 'em!

Remember the brick walls I mentioned?! Allow me let you in on another secret: You CAN make it over, around, under, and through those monsters! They are not the end of the road unless you allow them to be! 

The best thing you can do is to find/create a blogging group/tribe. Connect with virtual AND physical blogging communities that offer true support. They are invaluable! Find mentors you can learn from and rookies you can grow with. It's a whole big blogging world out there waiting for YOU! Who knows? You may just meet one of those precious blogging gurus! 

All hail The Bloggesses!

I hope you choose to persevere and stay true to your own voice. You can't be anyone else anyways! And don't be so fearful of rejection that you sit on the sidelines. YOUR audience is out there! You just have to give them something to read. 


Are you a blogger just starting out or thinking of starting a blog? Do you have blogging experience and have challenges you've had to overcome? If so, tell me about them! You just may help someone else in the process. As always thanks for being here! Don't forget to subscribe by adding your email above and feel free to follow me on my other social media platforms. 

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29 comments:

  1. I've demoted myself to "Part-Time Blogger" and don't look at the stats anymore. It was making me nutty, and the blogging group I'm part of, all the 'real' bloggers would say the same thing. I stand NO chance w/my schedule. I find that if I just do it on MY rules, when I want to, talk about WHAT I want to, and don't sweat it, it's a LOT more fun.
    Even the bloggers that devote tons of time to blogging, and do guest posts and have their work up on HuffPo, etc., said w/ads on their site they only make between $40-60/year. I'll admit it, I'm super motivated by money. I am totally NOT putting tons of effort into THAT kind of money. So now my blog is just for fun. And I have to say, I like it a LOT more than I did before. I was ready to shut the whole thing down, but I do have fun with it, so I just have to remind myself not to let it drive me crazy. Kind of like my kids ? :)

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    1. I agree Joy! I do my best writing when I'm not rushed or pressured. I started my blog as a FUN platform from which to vent and I want to keep it that way. I'm also motivated by money nowadays but I just don't seem to have the time nor energy to figure out all that that entails.

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  2. Get it girl! Don't whitey about the numbers. Worry about making your blog what you want it to be! The traffic and followers will come and stick around longer because you have been faithful to your own expectations. I love what you're doing and I'm not even a mom. Keep up the awesomeness!

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    1. Thanks Cajun! That is truly my intent. The people will come when they come. And that's that. So glad you're here! <3

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  3. Boy do I feel the words you wrote. I'm a brand new baby blogger trying to find my way, & like you, not tech savvy in the least. It's hard to get the courage to take the first step then to keep persevering those first few months when your audience is small cuz you start doubting if your voice will ever be able to compete with the pros. But, for me, writing is also therapy so I'm content to keep on chugging along inn first gear til it all comes together on its own.

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    1. That's right. Keep chugging! I think blogging is therapy for most mom bloggers. It's what keeps us sane and connected to an outside world. It is for me anyways. Continue to do what you're doing. Enjoy and don't allow it to take over. Good luck!

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  4. Ah, so timely for me as I keep getting into a blogging rut and let that little ugly green envy monster get the better of me. I have been reminding myself a lot lately that I am blogging because I enjoy it and have made amazing connections through it. I need to stop being guided by the thought of hoping to make money off of it, because it just sucks all the fun away!

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    1. I agree Bev! The money chase is grueling! And when you get caught up in what others are doing, it's even worse. I figure, as my blog grows the money will chase me. Until then, I'm enjoying the ride.

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  5. Such a great post! I have been getting so down on myself lately for not being as big and bad of a blog as some of these other fantastic bloggers I know! But it's so important to stay true to yourself and not try to be like anyone else. That's what makes people like you and keep coming back:)
    Thanks for sharing this!

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    1. Joanna I know what you mean! I've been through this many times. Not so much lately and for that I'm so grateful. I realize that no matter how many subscribers I have, etc, I'm the ONLY one who can be me. That said, I'm staying true to my style and my voice. I'm so happy that you are too! =)

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  6. I get down on myself periodically. Sometimes I think I'm pretty okay and sometimes I want to hang it up. It bugs me how a low page view day messes with my head so much. I need to do better at compartmentalizing and time management. Sometimes, stress over blogging is funsucking.

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    1. Jill I seriously had to give up on checking stats for a while. One week I was soaring and the next tanking. The pressure's just unnecessary. I take my blogging seriously but I refuse to become servant to it. This is supposed to be enjoyable.

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  7. Awesome post, Tandra! I largely agree! I had no idea what I was signing up for. Start a blog? Okay, that sounds easy enough! HA! I had no idea the amount of work that goes into it. There is so much learning and the learning never stops. This app for photos, oh, they just made a new version, did you remember to update your wordpress account? Did I tweet my post yet? Oh wait no--that was FB...wait was that my personal one I shared on or my blog's FB? How the hell do you work Pinterest? "MOOOMMMMMMMMMAAA!!!!!! The dog pooped in the house!' OMG. SO MUCH! All of that on top of a job and child/children can be absolutely exhausting. However, I am learning to pace myself in this super fast blogging world and like you said, stay true to who I am as a writer and do what I want to do, when it works for me! Thanks for the reminder! Great post!

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    1. Well stated Ashley! It can be super exhausting. That's why I pace myself (now) and write when inspiration hits. I guess great minds really do think alike. Lol!

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  8. I think this every day.

    And when I read a bloggess type blog that I can clearly see is not better written than my own (not that I think I'm fabulous or anything, but we're just women, sharing our voices) I wonder what I'm doing wrong or what they're doing right.

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    1. Me too Anne! But then I think about how easy it is to "sell yourself out" by participating in "click-farm" like groups on facebook. I have seen MANY of them. Maybe those followers weren't "earned" by being great, but "bought" through a group that offers clicks for clicks, comments for comments, and share for shares....

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    2. Anne I've thought the same thing before. It's so easy to do when you take your mind off of your own uniqueness and purpose for writing to focus on that of others. Once I decided to regain control without comparing myself to others) the stress went away. It's a process and we learn as we go.

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  9. Love this! It is so hard not to get caught up in the bloggy world. I was obsessed for the first few months I started, now I have taken a step back. I have a goal of three post per week.. but if I feel stumped or overwhelmed.. I just wont post. Or I will take a few days off of social media.

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    1. It IS hard because things are moving so fast and bloggers are doing so many different things. One is writing for such and such, guest posting here, submitting there, and if you're not doing any of those things, you can start to question yourself. I'm down to two posts per week when possible. But if I don't feel like it or don't meet that goal, all is still well. I allow myself whatever I need in the moment.

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  10. YES! I get sooo jealous! (In a good way, of course!) But I think that it is a "healthy" jealousy because it just pushes me to work harder to accomplish those goals! And your advice is perfect! Finding a network of other bloggers to grow with is the first step towards success! Believe me!

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    1. I think that's a healthy jealousy as well! That's exactly how I define my own. I get motivated seeing others succeed because I know if they can do it, so can I. The possibilities are so exciting!

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  11. As I've been staring at that wall for a few weeks I totally feel ya on this one. I'm awfully glad to have found a few wonderful folks, like yourself, who constantly and consistently make me feel supported and inspired. Thank you for that!

    I love your voice, btw. Don't ever change that shit.

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    1. You KNOW I love your voice as well! I'm happy to be a part of your circle. And don't worry, that wall will move or you'll make a way to the other side of it. =)

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  12. I love this post for so many reasons and it's because this is an honest take on what blogging is all about at any level. I've had some successes but I can tell you honestly that people's perceptions of what it's like having those things going on aren't the reality. Like when I had HuffPo email me to feature my writing? All my friends vanished. They thought I "made it" and didn't need them. I didn't SAY that to them; but they assumed I'd be untouchable or something. Anyway, it all felt very lonely for me. That was MY reality. Loneliness. On what should have been the biggest moment in my life. I wish I could shake new bloggers and give them all this post. Excellent words of wisdom.

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    1. Thank you Lisa! I'm so happy that you enjoyed it! Things do tend to get tricky when what others define as "success" happens to YOU. It's unfortunate but still a reality. I'm sorry that you've had to go through this situation. Even more so, I'm sorry they missed out on great experiences with a great friend.

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  13. I think it's pretty unfair to take pot shots - both in your post and here in the comments - about someone like The Blogess. That woman WORKS, and she's truly a unique voice in the world of female bloggers. AND that woman can write circles around most bloggers, managing to be engaging, witty, hilarious, transparent, and emphathetic in one fell swoop. That takes a lot of talent, and for that, she's been recognized.

    Now, do I get envious when I see bloggers who have seemingly made the big time, and it's one sponsored post after another, or the same thing that twenty other bloggers are writing about, or their site is pretty damn ugly? Of course. But it's ON ME to make my blog better, to work harder, to do better.

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  14. Wow Becky... Thanks for commenting (I think). It's obvious that you COMPLETELY misunderstood my post or didn't read it at all. In fact, are you SURE you read MY post? I'm not familiar with "The Blogess" you mentioned but I'm going to find her. I'll be sure to mention how fond you are of her! If she's anything like the wonderful and brilliant, hard-working Bloggesses I WROTE ABOUT, I know I'll love her! Nothing I wrote was offensive nor directed towards anyone in particular. In fact, I did nothing but praise those fabulous bloggers. All of the comments posted (except yours) attest to that. One more thing, maybe go back and read the definition of a "pot shot." Doesn't apply here at all. Right?! I have to get on with my life now and back to blogging.

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  15. I so get this blog. Since we started homeschooling the Teen my life has been...well...LIFE times 100 it seems. LOL I have not been paying enough attention to either of my FB pages, my blog or well, anything. LOL I have these great posts, or at least I think they are great, and then WHAMO! I get side tracked by life and of course I forget to write these brilliant posts down, so I am left sitting here staring at my screen thinking: "WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!?" I don't ever think of giving up...and conforming? NEVER! BUT, I do have that feeling of, "Can I really DO this?" THEN, I come to a blog like yours and get the support that I need to just pick myself up, grab my notebook and write some topics down...THANK YOU! <3

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    1. I think we all get that way sometimes. I get so caught up in life and other things get side-tracked if I don't prioritize them! Like you, I just have to get back on track.

      I'm happy that you're able to find support here! That makes all the difference in the world and encourages me to keep writing! Thank YOU for YOUR support! <3

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