Dear Vag.

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There's never a lack of material to read about our awesome sister-girl down below. Around every corner, a new shout-out is given to "her." I've joined that bandwagon because I need to get some things off my chest. This may be more like a shout-at than a shout-out. If she were a person, this is the letter I'd send:


"Dear Vag,

I know you don't beat around the bush (no pun intended) so I won't waste time with pleasantries. 

I have to admit... I'm pretty pissed with you these days. Every time I think we've reached a place of normalcy, it's some other thing altogether. You're never satisfied and I'm not sure what else to do. I feel like I don't know you anymore.

I remember when we were antisocial neighbors. We lived in the same hood, glanced at each other, but didn't know one another personally. People referred to you by different names, so I was always confused. Some of the names were terrible but others made me laugh. Then I introduced myself. You seemed quiet and introverted. Boy was I wrong! When we became friends, you opened up (literally) and took over the relationship! I've never known whether to love or loathe you. And you don't make it easy for me to decide.


I apologize, okay? I apologize for the times I've introduced you to people you never really wanted to meet. Especially when you were looking like Don King's head in a thigh grip! I should've tamed you. I know that now. And the times I've made you all itchy from using some new product. Or when I shaved you before I knew what I was doing. But you've made me itchy, too. You can act forgetful if you want but we all know that when YOU get out of whack, YOU make life a living, itchy hell! I don't even want to think about the last time!

Lately, it seems that we're growing apart. You're moody and often irritated from every. little. thing. I'm afraid to do anything that involves you. And never mind showing you some sort of affection! Speaking of affection, what's REALLY going on?! Have you forgotten that it's something I NEED?

You're honestly acting like a bitch butt about it these days. Yeah. I KNOW that intimacy has led you to endure some pretty traumatizing events. But aren't the fruits of my womb suppose to be a good thing?! That's what one of your main purposes is, right? I'm reminded of that by your gift that keeps on giving every month!

I hope you haven't forgotten about the pleasure on the other end of the spectrum. It actually feels good to have someone going in versus coming out! Do you remember any of that? I do and I miss ---->PLEASURE! I'm getting older. That's true. But I'm not dead and I still have needs.

So stop getting all PTSD on me and think dammit! If men can think with their lower heads, you must be Einsteinetta! Think of the good times we've had and the memories we've made. Oh, the sweet memories! At this point, bipolar is the only way I can describe you and I don't like thinking of you that way.

I'm doing my best to ensure that nothing else comes out of the cocoon. I've taken precautions and I don't think you need to worry. So give me a break! I want you to get yourself together and play nicely. We can get along if we work together. There's no "I" in vagi ...well... in team dammit. TEAM. 

And for the love of Nair, tea tree oil, and razors, cooperate after I've given you a makeover. A little taming is good for the soul. A multitude of mountain-sized bumps is not. And don't even think about going all Brazilian on me. It. will. never. happen.

Fed uppedly,

Me, Myself, and I 


Do you have a few things to say to your sister-girl down below? Has she become an entity you no longer recognize? If so, tell me about it. What would you like to say to her? Be sure to subscribe and to follow me on all of my social media sites. All details are above and to the right. Feel free to hang out for a while and explore! Thanks so much for reading. I love having you here!


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