Cute, My Ass!

As I blast rules, demands, and the never ending question of "Why did you do that?" to my oldest daughter, I usually don't take the time to consider what she thinks about it all. When I "mean business," and that's pretty often, I just want my instructions followed! But lately I've been curious.

I thought it would be interesting to find out what she thinks about not just being a kid... but MY kid...OUR kid!  Does she feel that, as her parents, we REALLY listen to her? Or, does she feel COMPLETELY misunderstood? She's only seven but she's a dynamo! And for that reason I was almost afraid to go forward with this inquiry. She tells me like it is! The microscopic truth! That means by the end of this, I knew (for sure) whether we are asshole parents, the best parents alive, or luckily somewhere in between. Do you dare find out?! I know you will because you're the adventurous type AND we're all nosy parents hoping we're not alone in our blunders! 

Let's go into the mind of a seven year old...


She was in the middle of playing with her sister and -in so many words- I asked her to name 4 things we, as her parents, don't understand about HER.

*"I wanna play but you won't let me."
Now this needed some explaining because if she's not allowed to "play", what the hell is all of the shit strewn across every floor of our home?! RIGHT?! If I wanted her to feel comfy answering my questions, I knew I had to play it cool and tread lightly for more in-depth answers. She went on to explain that she wants to play...a lot. Like, ALL OF THE TIME but we won't allow her to. I'll admit, I know what she means. The phrase "GET SOMEWHERE AND SIT DOWN!" is yelled throughout my house more than it probably should be. It's not easy for a kid to understand that every. single. moment. can't be playtime. They don't understand that and frankly, neither do I in the grand scheme of things. Kids especially don't get that mommy's and daddy's nerves are on edge and we're only one shriek away from a nervous breakdown!

* "You always say I'm spoiled but I'm not... I'm just cute!"
Okay Miss Cute... Come down off of that high horse you're perched on! Yes, she IS cute but she's also spoiled... as hell. Cute, my ass! I know many people don't agree with or like the term spoiled but this is about MY life, MY kid, MY opinion. She and her sister are the only grandkids on BOTH sides of the family! You read that right. THE ONLY! I couldn't say to her what I was thinking but I thought long and hard about what she said. Hmmm... Sorry folks but I just couldn't get the whole "not spoiled... just cute" thing. Maybe that's one fun thing about being a kid. You can say shit that people don't get and that's okay. It's just "cute" I guess!

* "I want to keep secrets sometimes but I'm not allowed to."
I had to dig deeper into this one. "What do you mean?" I asked. She went on to tell me how she and her friends sometimes want to keep things strictly between them. They don't want to share everything with their enemies parents. I probe her, of course, when it comes to details about her school days, friends, etc. However, I don't think she gets that I'm unaware of her secrets unless she informs me of their existence. So what's a gal to do??? Fortunately, she has no idea that this concept only gets worse! The fact that we (her parents) will be "all up in her biz-ness" probably won't hit her until middle school. In some cases, ignorance truly is blissful!

* "Sometimes I just want to run in the grass! "
So RUN girl RUN! I couldn't imagine what she meant by this. And honestly I was beginning to feel "some kind of way" about her comments. Are we those hovering, helicopter parents who don't allow their offspring to breathe without testing the air quality first??! Well, I may be but he's not. Dammit. It was in this moment that I realized how much I restrict her from things; From being a kid; From being free to roam like I did as a child. *Sigh* I know you're waiting for me to write something wise, intuitive, reflective, BUT, I've got nothing. I don't know how to be any different than I am and I honestly don't feel that I need to. I allow her to be as free as safely possible. As terrible as today's world can seem, she's lucky to get that out of me!

In conclusion, we didn't do so badly. She loves us and deems us "THE BEST PARENTS EVER!". We'll take that title proudly. We can only hope that as she gets older, our relationship will deepen. We want her to feel safe with us physically and emotionally. We will always protect her, love her, accept her, and hover over her when necessary. 

That's just a fact she has to accept....infinitely.

How about you? How do you measure up in your kid's eyes? Do you know...yet? I still have probing to do but this is a start. My links are listed above so follow me if you feel so inclined. And hey, click on my badge below. I'm a Top Mommy Blogger and I'd love to stay there. As usual, you all ROCK! Thanks for your support!